Monday, September 8, 2014

When Selfies Go Wrong

So I have been getting a lot of questions about my selfies. One of the most surprising questions came from my best friend Vicky. She asked honestly if I took the selfies while I was driving because they are usually in my car. The answer is NO, I NEVER take them when driving. Once in awhile I might take one at a stoplight but it's pretty embarrassing to do that and look over and have the car next to you be like with a thought bubble over their head, "You conceited bitch" so I usually take them in my car, BEFORE starting the car. Here is one I really like outside my condo last Sunday.

 I pulled over for this one.
 Some are better than others. It's so damn fun! It's kind of like playing a character.

Another question is "How do you photograph so well"'s really been a process figuring out the best angles and with every good selfie, you better believe I took at least 5-6 bad angles before choosing the angle I like. It's been hard lately not to get too repetitive. It's like, OK, we know you look cute with your head cocked. The head cocking is a good angle, but sometimes, it doesn't turn out so well. It kind of looks like I broke my neck.

So, if you ever need advice on if your selfie is good before posting, shoot it to me. I have taken some beasts before. It really does take practice. Totally go for it though because it's a lot of fun!!

Here are some examples of what NOT to do. I am just going to say, bathroom selfies are usually NEVER a good idea. Sometimes I will take them in my bathroom but for the love of God, don't take one while sitting on the toilet.

Or worse yet, after you have taken a dump.

Here is another example of a bad mirror use. #ohdeargod

Make it stop.

Guys, here is a tip. Don't take selfies is anyone is also peeing in the same room with you.

There is also a respectable time and place for selfies. How about maybe not your GRANDMA'S FUNERAL.

This is definitely Mom of the year.


Don't have your toddler take selfies of you.

 Or Grandma.

Also use common sense when Photoshopping.

If you are going to try and get a "girl next door" cute selfie, maybe put away the FOOT LONG BLACK DILDO on your nightstand.

And if you look like this, just stop taking selfies. Like never, ever, again.

Last but not least is one of my favorite selfies GONE RIGHT! Check out this OLD SCHOOL SELFIE!

What's your best angle or do you have some awesome crazy selfies to show me? I love them all!!