Don't Feel Sorry For Yourself. Only Assholes Do That.

Last week, I was offered a position for a special assignment, one that I was really excited about and was offered after several interviews and for a reason regarding a mistake I made when I was 22, the offer was rescinded. It wasn't in the interview process or on the application. I just told them about it for complete disclosure and I was immediately let go. I have told many important employers about it and it was never an issue. It was something we all have done and either got caught for or should have - that is not the point here though. The point is, it's part of me now and suddenly, I felt really bad about me.

 I spent the whole week in and out of tears and feeling sorry for myself. It was really hard - part of it was the swing of emotion. Total elation to be the chosen one for the job and then total disappointment to have it taken away so fast. It was just a tough week until I saw this on Instagram. Not only is this SO true, Murakami designed some of my favorite Louis Vuitton handbags in 2009 (I own two!) and so I know this post was a sign that it was for me! 

The picture spoke to me right away. I thought about it and realized that it's OK to mourn the loss of something you really wanted and to feel disappointed but after awhile, if you keep feeling sorry for yourself, do you know what it makes you? An asshole. 

I woke up from my haze of feeling sorry for myself, blaming myself, rehashing what I should have said, counting all the money I was now not going to make and decided that I was no longer going to be an asshole about it. The mistake I made when I was young, I needed to suffer the consequences of my actions and learn an important lesson. We need our mistakes to grow.

 
 The last thing you want to do is beat yourself up over the "shoulda coulda woulda's" because that just inhibits personal growth and meaningful experiences you can have TODAY and in the future.

Today, I am telling the universe that I understand that the opportunity wasn't meant to be and that I am grateful for the person I am, the mistakes I have made, and for how far I have come. I have come a damn long way and I am proud of my hard work. I have lived a pretty incredible life that I have worked for and being grateful for my life and the blessings I have, makes me teary just writing this.

Does this sound like something you may have experienced? Are you held back by something? Are you sick of being an asshole? The way to change is through gratitude. Let's be grateful today and forgive and love ourselves. Today I decide to shift my focus back to gratitude and be thankful for all of the amazing opportunities I have now and that I know are coming to me.
 

Have you ever tried a positive affirmation? Try it. Look in the mirror and tell yourself something kind. You can start with this: I love and approve of myself. I am grateful for the person I am, and I am grateful for today. Do it everyday for a week.

Have a great rest of your week!

XO,

Ever Since I Was A Child...

Did you see the movie "Then and Now"? I love that movie. When I think of then and now, I have always loved three things.

Flat faced little dogs. This is the one that started it all. Rosie. We were born in the same month of December and grew up together!

 

Here I am with my current flat face. I am sure you guys know who this thing is :) 

 

Being a show-woman! Here is my first appearance with my mother in Colorado Homes and Lifestyles.

 and last year on Pawn Stars!

and dressing up! 

This is a shoot from when I posed for a painting by fashion icon Jim Howard. I was fortunate enough to purchase the painting this year and I cherish it! It was a fun time of my life and I still have this outfit!